The past couple of weeks have been a little rough on me: My I-pod died, my computer died, earthquakes, hurricanes, personal challenges and a very intense and demanding work load. I have friends, I have family but I don't have any time to spend with them. Today it was pouring rain, and it was also very cold and dark and that's exactly how I feel. Ok... yeah... I know, bust out the violins. OF course nothing would please me more than to wallow in my own self pity, and indulge in my own personal web of emotions but I don't even have the time to do that.
No matter what......... people do break. Everything falls apart but I also believe that people need to break. We need to re-fresh, re-build, re-do and re-mix our lives. If we didn't, we'd never grow.
I DJ'd about four times in the past week and with every gig, I tried something new. I mixed Jimmy Cliff into Miike Snow, I played an album cut off of a prince record in the middle of the peak. I played a cranberries song, I played some random Digable planets song off of blowout comb, a song I didn't even know. I played Soul Makousa in the middle of a current top 40 mix. Some might say i was a bit reckless and relentless but the people LOVED it. I was not clean, I was not on auto-pilot. I was raw and I was rugged. I didn' think anything thru. I played with my soul and not my mind. I surrendered my ego into every mix, and cue'd each record as if it was my first and last. The people who heard me spin this past week, experienced my work, my heart, my passion and legacy at it's purest form.
It's strange because I always come into each gig thinking that I need to make the people feel happy, but I really just need to make them feel something, and that I did. I also realize that I need the people way more than they need me. Whether it is only 4 of them or 400 of them, they are the ones that carry me thru the night. I am nothing with out their energy an when I'm broken and shattered all over the place, it's the people on the dance floor that really pick up the pieces and put me back together.